I am laying on the floor with a million thoughts strewn
around me and in me. I know those cheers and cries echoing across the street, but they sound like a dream. The park emanates the youth I have a hard time remembering. It wisps like smoke toward this mess inside here. I find myself longing for those innocent and spontaneous expressions of impulse, of emotion, of happiness or sadness. Anything really. I have them trapped behind a lovely crystal wall. They bounce around inside getting morphed and melted together. I learn their language with each step ahead. It might be best to ask the Queen to court now. She will rule them out and break all the rules. I hear a distant scream and wonder if it is the delight of a see-saw or the slide or the swing. Then I realize the scream is not over there. It is inside me. It is gaining force and something is telling me the Queen has arrived on her own to save me.
....Crystal....
breaks as a new fire catches in the wind. He found me on the floor looking up into nowhere and starts small strokes up my legs. I stare transfixed on the mosquito flying against the ceiling, wondering if it knows there is no escape. As it floats awkwardly down lower and into my realm, I smash it with the back of my hand. His strokes become hungry pulling and pushing movements. I hear and feel his wet breath going into my ear as he moves over me and my skin pricks up
with chills. I am seeing that mosquito squirm uncomfortably on the floor next to us. My body takes over tingling and coming with his pushing and pulling. This is the place I am finally free. I feel with innocence and spontaneous
expression as his hot mouth pounds on my body trying to draw all of it and any of it out of me. My eyes roll back down and focus in on the smashed insect, but now I see the beautiful blue and green opalescence stretching from its core. The dragonfly wings crumble under my force as my heart weeps silently seeking
forgiveness for my error. ....
